Financial lessons from our exes

Remember that boyfriend at university who was in thousands of pounds of credit card debt? The one who was too embarrassed to ask the bank for his current balance, so you had to call and pretend to be his wife to try do it for him? These things stay with us.

We share how past relationships can inform future financial decisions.

Lesson 1: The potential risk of compound interest

'In my mid-twenties,' says financial coach Jack, 'I loaned my then-girlfriend and her mother £2,000 toward redecorating their home.'

'They assured me I would be repaid within the year,' he says. But 18 months later, Jack hadn’t received anything.

The pair had put the remainder of the expenses on high-interest credit cards.

'My ex was still trying to pay off her share,' he says, 'and due to health issues preventing her from working, her mother’s debt had grown larger than the initial amount she’d borrowed.'

The couple broke up and Jack never got his money back – but he did learn a valuable lesson.

'I witnessed first-hand the dangers of compound interest and the vicious cycle of debt it can create,' he says.

'I also discovered the importance of debt relief charities – one helped my ex’s mother organise her debts and create a manageable spending plan.'

Lesson 2: The difficulties of separating joint finances

'After my husband and I separated,' says blogger Rebecca, 'I couldn’t remove my name from his bank account. I had to rely on him to do it.' Please note that not all joint bank accounts operate in this way or have the same conditions.

When Rebecca received a letter from the bank addressed to both, saying that her husband had applied for a 110% mortgage solely in his name, she took matters into her own hands.

She printed copies of their joint statements and inundated her husband with messages, commenting on each purchase individually.

'I didn't feel good about it – but I was desperate,' she says.

Finally, on one of her visits to the branch for statements, she learned the account had been closed.

'I was so relieved that I burst into tears,' she says. 'Never again will I be on a joint bank account.'

Lesson 3: The need for the creation of an emergency fund

As a teenager, entrepreneur Alex dated someone from a well-off family.

'They would spend all their money going out and partying, then complain they had no money and run to their dad for more. I learnt that you can have access to all the money in the world, but to have disposable cash you have to be an intentional saver.'

Alex started putting at least 50% of their pocket money aside as an emergency fund and devised a strategy to stay on track.

'I call it the five times rule,' Alex said. 'If I want a pair of shoes, for example, I won’t buy them unless I have 5 to 10 times their cost in disposable cash.'

Lesson 4: The importance of sharing expenses equally

While living with her ex, Claudia had all of the bills in her name.

'I was organised and set everything up,' she says, 'but also, stupidly, never added his name.'

'The payments all came from my bank account, then he’d reimburse me.'

After they broke up and moved out of their rented flat, she asked him to cover his half of the final set of bills – and he went quiet.

'I didn’t want a legal battle,' she says, 'so I coughed up for the lot: several months’ worth of internet, gas and electricity and water – around £285 altogether.'

Now Claudia ensures all bills are shared equally. 'My new partner and I have agreed on an arrangement that works for us,' she says.

To support customers with actioning their budgets, Chase lets you set up multiple current accounts, up to 20 in total. Since you can spend from these directly, they might help you track your spending throughout the month.

18+, UK residents.

Recommended reading

• How to separate joint debt after a divorce
• Get organised with a dedicated household account
• How I learnt to save

Disclaimer: The Hub is intended as a knowledge portal to provide information on a range of topics, including financial products. Articles may reference products and services that Chase UK does not currently offer. This article is for information only and does not constitute financial advice.