Choosing to be a stay-at-home parent

With childcare costs soaring, some couples are taking the decision to split their roles into one full-time paid worker and one full-time stay-at-home-parent. It's a rethink of routines and roles for parents so they can focus on the early years of their children’s lives.

According to a 2024 survey by children’s charity Coram, a part-time nursery place for a child under two now costs an average of £158 per week in Great Britain, up 7% on 2023. Unsurprisingly, the most expensive area in the country is London, where parents pay an average of £218 per week for a part-time nursery place.

One parent’s story

Finnley Elliott is a portraiture artist. She creates detailed gouache and ink works, inspired by the natural world around her.

She decided to stay home when she and her husband had their children, Marcie, now three, and Ivo, eighteen months. Finnley says, 'They're only going to be small for such a short period, and I want to be around for them as much as possible. I’ve read about attachment theory; how important it is to have a really strong bond with your primary caregivers. My whole business is working from home, so it's not like I had a nine-to-five job that gave maternity leave. My idea was to try and get as much work done around the children as possible'.

Finnley found doing that was far easier with one child than it is now with two, although she's lucky, she says, that her husband works partly from home, so he's not caught up in long commuting hours every day. However, full-time childcare would take almost all of her earnings.

'My work is important to me, and I worked really hard to get where I was. So it was a frustrating decision. But it felt like the only choice I had because of our circumstances'.

Before having her children, the majority of Finnley’s work was commissioned. But since then, this has proved more difficult. 'I can't guarantee when commissions will be done, and I feel so guilty if I take ages. It was too stressful and it didn't make sense financially. So, I’ve put a stop on the commissions for now, and I’m promoting my own work through my online shop and by entering group exhibitions'.

The most important job

Marcie starts school next September, when Ivo will be of nursery age. 'I’ll have more set hours where they will both be somewhere. And it's lucky that I work from home, so I’ll be able to do the nursery run and the school pickup'.

'I feel like being with them now is like the greatest gift that I can give them. To us, it's the most important job, and it would have a positive knock-on effect in society if there were much more funding and support from the community for mothers who wanted or needed to stay home with their children'.

The 'motherhood penalty'

A 2023 report from Pregnant Then Screwed, a charity dedicated to ending the motherhood penalty, says 3/4 of mothers who pay for childcare say that it doesn't make financial sense for them to work. One in four parents (26%) who use formal childcare say that the cost is now more than 75% of their take-home pay. One in three (32%) parents who use formal childcare say they had to rely on some form of debt to cover childcare costs.

In a report published by Deloitte in April 2024, 95% of women surveyed worldwide believe that 'requesting or taking advantage of flexible work opportunities will negatively affect their chances of promotion' and 93% don’t expect that their workload would be adjusted if they moved to a flexible working arrangement.

Some good news

Parents are getting more government help (Opens in new window) with childcare. From April 2024, eligible working parents of 2-year-olds were able to access 15 hours of childcare support per week. From September 2024, 15 hours of childcare support per week was extended to eligible working parents of children from the age of 9 months to 3-year-olds. And from September 2025, eligible working parents of children from 9 months to school age will be entitled to 30 hours of childcare a week.

Working around the children’s routine

Childcare costs are not a new issue. I was one of those mothers who didn't stop working when I went on maternity leave. I very soon realised that I was taking on more and more freelance writing with a 3-month-old at the time.

But after another baby and a few years of commuting, travelling to London and abroad as needed, I realised that I was taking on more and more work in order to pay not only our living costs, but the nanny’s salary too. I gave her notice and moulded my writing around my children’s routine of nursery and school. I was happier – and so were they.

Whatever you decide to do, look after your money. Chase's easy-access saver account lets you start saving with as little as you like.

18+, UK residents. A Chase current account is required to open a saver account.

Recommended reading

• Tips on returning to working life after parental leave
• What to consider when going back to work
• Easy ways to save for your kids

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